+Peace+

2009-04-25T01:41:00.000-07:00

Its time I should stop persuing.
All these 4 years, there are so much memories, the sweet and the bitter. I need to try hard to forget them, just try. They are all history. Don't keep them anymore. No more.
Thanks guys and my best friend Vanessa, for always giving me advices and put in much effort in persuading me for all the years.
I know it will be hard to get over it, it was never easy. I had thought about it for the past few days. It makes me hate thinking, the moment I think, I will never stop thinking.
I think its time I should let go. My false hopes and my empty dreams. Or I should never start all these.
I want to thank Ming Kwang for always been lending me his listening ear and of course friends like Elson and Farand, thanks guys for always standby me whenever I feel depressed and down. No words can describe how much you all meant to me. I know the following days will be hard for me. What I need now is just a simple life, study hard, I will regain my confidence and not to criticise myself again. For no reasons and well, I know its hard, but I will just have to try no matter how hard it is. Love you all, my friends. I'm pronouncing this blog dead now. Take care all of you. Loves.

Painful Answers.

2009-03-18T23:59:00.000-07:00

Today at Sheila's Birthday party, we had so much fun, we had so much to talk. I think this buffet is quite wasted as I didn't eat much today. We were so full!! And sheila got a water dispenser from me, a notebook from Steph and yuanxin, a bag from wen huan, a tissue box from shen yang and er, i don't think i have missed out any. Oh, and soft toy from gary. LOL and found out that, some idiotic girl is harassing Stephanie ! Poor Steph, LOL. but I'm thinking, why do we have such person on earth ? How the girl thinks ? what had influenced her to be like this? I've so much questions inside my mind. If I have a chance, I'll show up in Steph's Junior College and give her a stare @.@ ( Maybe my stare is enough to kill ) xD. Seriously hope that girl will get a life and stop clinging on to Stephanie and make herself more popular in the school. What crap. Upon heaing these from Steph, I recalled someone that somehow have the image as the girl. Just that the girl is more extreme, haha. That someone is, cheerene! yucks! #%#$% . After the dinner, we went to take some photos of us and oh yah, my shoe, its all wet. -.- zzzzzzzz. Notice : Please watch the way you're going and be alert at all times.

After everything, Me, Steph and yuanxin decided to take cab home but we can't find any cab, either they're hired or changing shifts. We walked all the way to a roadside and managed to get a cab. I wanted stephanie to get home 1st because I want to assure her safety, but they still wanted me to get down 1st. Hence, I got down 1st. I should have insisted that Steph get down 1st.

When I walked with you, I wanted to pull your hand and stay close to me. Because I want you to be safe and sound with me around.

When we crossed the road, I wanted to hold your hand. Because I want you to stay away from the busy traffic as far as possible.

When I'm searching for cabs, I kept looking back to ensure that you're still there.

When I'm in the cab, I'm thinking, when will we meet again.

Do you know how worried I am ?

2009-01-14T17:26:00.000-08:00

That day, we collected our results. I'm disappointed with mine results.
I saw her cried. Looking at her. I'm in pain.
There's not much I can do, Sorry Steph. I know you had done your best, you have always been setting high expectations for yourself. You have tried. hope you will get over it.
I can only comfort and pray for you, like I've always.

May God give you the direction. Amen.

2009-01-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

I woke up, I think of you.
I bathe, I think of you.
I look myself in the mirror, I think of you.
I eat, I think of you.
I work, I think of you.
I walk alone on the streets, I think of you.
I sit in the bus, I think of you.
I saw someone's back, I thought she was you.
I stare blankly at the bustop, I think of you.
I walk the route we had walked and I thought "Where are you now?"
I looked at the time and I thought "Have you eaten your dinner?"
When it is time to turn in to sleep and I thought "Are you asleep?"
When I'm asleep,I was dreaming, I dreamt of you.
I woke up, I think of you.

Today I realised, I live in my own world.

2008-12-11T00:35:00.000-08:00

Time flies. Lol. And I had already started to work. My current work is sort of a new experience for me. I still miss those school days. How we had lessons, how defiant we are. xP . and of course, the days,the roads, the time, I walked with you and spent with you. I have not seen you for weeks! Lol. Work actually made me more tired than usual but I still have insomnia sometimes but lesser. ah, and X'mas is coming ! Please, my plans, hope they go really well. God bless!! There's still a long period ahead before we get our 'O'Level results. Sigh. Don't know when i will stop working, after i get my 'O'level results ? before school reopen ? hmmm....

.... and you finally came back.

2008-11-24T09:39:00.000-08:00

I just woke up. Its that dream again... Its that dream again. It felt so real, so real that I even cried in my dreams, I cried very hard for her... on the streets, its raining heavily, all the people staring at me.... I really thought it was a dream, but it felt so real, that dream lasted very long instead of seconds. Its so real,so real....

I woke up with tears in my eyes.

2008-11-13T11:19:00.000-08:00

Finally, its over. It seems like a dream. Everyday, mugging for exams. Hope my efforts will eventually pay off. Well, I seriously hate holidays, but there's nothing I can do. So I had came up with my plans to occupy my holiday time.

1) Jog 3times in a week. Reason : Run off my fats and look nicer !

2) Build my body. Reason : So that I can protect you, far or near.

3) Learning recipes from Farand's Aunt. Reason : So that I can cook for you in the future.

4) Work! Reason : So that I can save enough money for the future.

5)Play basketball/Skipping. Reason : Because I don't wanna be shorter than you. ;)

Fate brought us here, I'm not going to stop here.

2008-09-15T23:14:00.000-07:00

I need to talk about this, because it has always been the worst nightmare I ever had. I had these dreams frequently as time goes by. Most of these dreams happened in our school. There will always be a start and an end. At the start, I will always have a conversation with her, after some time, she just went off to do something, these dreams seems to be so real that I woke up with cold sweat. When she went off to do something, after a while, I went to look for her. But, no matter how hard I try, I still can't find her in the end, the sense of feeling is so scary, worried that something bad may happen to her, I should stay by her side all the time, it was a nightmare, it was scary, in these dreams, I always search up and down for her in the school, all over, but I still can't find her, but sometimes when I found her, she seems to be a distance away from me, I can't reach her, no matter whatI do.. I just can't reach her. I tried to call her back but she can't hear anything. I had been having these dreams for past few months which started only this year. What's the real meaning of this ? I bet I will have these dreams will appear for the following days,weeks,months or maybe years.

I woke up after a long nap. Started to do my maths slowly, cracking my brains but I'm not even sober, I can't calculate simple maths. My mind is filled with her, kept recalling all the nightmares that appear in my dreams for the past few months. And then, I began to worry. I started to worry. I called her in the end, her brother picked up the phone and told me that she down with flu. Very sick. I was shocked, is my nightmare linked? Yes ? No? Then I asked her brother to tell her to drink more water as well as him. The atmosphere sucks, I'm having a flu too, almost everyone. I prayed for her after I hanged up the phone. Hope she will get well and doesn't suffer so much. Sigh.

Gifted Sixth Sense?

2008-09-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

I lost my concentration as time goes by. More and more careless mistakes for my papers, hell. Marks that should be obtained easily are all gone, due to my carelessness. Man. Hate it. Sucked. Tomorrow, maths paper 2, lame shit, friday Chem/Bio MCQ. Why can't both of them be carry out tomorrow ? Waste time. My concentration are losing! Good game. Sigh. I found a way to concentrate more when I'm studying although it helps only a little.

每天。。。每分钟。。。你都在我脑里。。。我告诉我自己，把你放在心里就可以了。。。

其实一路走来你一直都在我的心里。。。

Send me to Heaven.

2008-09-08T15:39:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired. I just can't get to sleep at night. No one have considered that as sleeping is an easy task for everyone. All I wanted is just to get some sleep at night. Can I ? Found out that my prelims weren't that good. Blanks, careless mistakes. Distracted, always. Ain't sober. Maybe just can't concentrate at all. Such insomnia I can't comprehend. Exams, Olevels, driving me crazy. Teacher, classmates, friends, some of them, said there's something wrong in me, mentally, emotionally. Hell. I'm getting suspicious too. Insane! What are you, Xy ?

Once again, I rushed out of the door to look for you.

2008-08-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

Sigh. Yesterday had social studies, didn't have time to do 1(c) and (d) cuz I do essay questions first. Lost 14marks. Today just had history prelim, again I done essay again. I chose Fall Of Communism, I done 4(a) but not (b) because it require for me to think a while. I went to source base and done all the questions accept for the last part (d) was finishing the sentence when Mrs Judy Tan said "Stop writing" . oh wth. Blank for 4(b) essay question. Sigh. I really studied for this prelim. >.> Af ter that teachers day celebration went home after that, hope Steph they all enjoy their movie. ;D Holidays again. I hate holidays. I f*cking hate holidays. Luckily its only one week..

Do you know why?

2008-08-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

Yawn, just woke up. Didn't had chinese prelim today, cuz I'm not retaking it. Tired. Felt delighted yesterday cuz she came to school finally. I can see she's feeling better except a little cough. Drink more water kay ? Steph. The days without you in school, missing you badly, seems distracted and can't really focus on what I'm doing. Thank God, you feel better now. I will feel better too, with you around.

So much more left to say.

2008-08-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

Confusion, Emotionally Unstable, Distracted, Unclear Mind, Deranged, Insanity, Isolation, Worries, Sighs.

2008-08-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, actually glad to see her in school although she don't look okay,she look sick and weak.. Didn't have any chance to talk to her though. Sigh. Rushing Coursework A currently. Found out that she had throat infection. I'm fcuked up, why must it be her ? Why not me ? Why she's always sick ? I rather be the one that's weak and she, the stronger one. I prayed for her many times, it became my habit eventually. "Have faith in
God...whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."-Mark 11:22,24. But why ? why...

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
yuan sori to ask a so sensitive question

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
i rather be the one weaker and she will be the one stronger

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
wat will u do after leaving the skool?

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
as in u can'tsee her anymore?

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
i don't know

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
will u want to keep standby her

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
but i can tell you tis

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
I may not live till that day.

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
if she dun want accept ur care wat will u do?

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
continue in loving.

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
how can u yi zhi shuo zhu ta when u cantno even see her?

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
protect her from far , silently.

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
if one day u oso lsot contact with me n i can't tell u anything about stephie wat will u do

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
depend on myself then

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
if one day u lsot contact with her wat will u do?

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
search for her

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
all over

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
no matter how hard u try u can't find her wat will u do?

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
Till i collapse

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
so u will keep finding her?

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
Yes, of course.

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
wat if u can nv find her?

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
As long as i'm breathing, she's sure alive.

## Yu@n x1n ## says:
ok

<>UndyingDevo†ion ♥ says:
She live, I breathe

"She will get better,a full recovery, a strong and healthy body" In God's name I pray. Amen.

2008-08-04T17:07:00.000-07:00

First thing of the day, reached school, knew that she didn't come today, my mood went down. Sigh... learnt that her nose bled... sigh.... I'm really sad when I heard about this. Why she had to suffer all these ? My mood was not really good throughout the whole day. Steph, if you happen to read my blog, I want to tell you about this. Can you not stress and pressurize yourself so much ? I know that prelims and Olvls are important to you, but what's more important than yourself, your health ? If you need to stay up late at night, remember to drink more water. Really hope you will get well soon. May God bless you with a strong and healthy body. Amen.

After recess, was very hot because the aircon was not on. We are punished for staying in class during recess, whole week, no aircon. My mood was not that good already, Vanessa thought that I blame her for switching off the aircon, and she shouted at me, my mood gone worse, it was a misunderstanding. But after that, I knew she didn't really mean it. Then I will just forget it.
Thats all. Sigh...

Do you know how much I worried about you ?

2008-07-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

Ah, boring day. Had assembly, sing national day song, ah, lame. Lols. Shine for Singapore is quite nice eh? lol. hmm. Had F&N remedial, doing the coursework B. I finished it since long ago. lolx. But whether the teachers would accept it, I won't know. Funny, talked with Alphonso, hahaha, omgs, hew actually said that he thought I'm a pai kia when he 1st saw me in this school. LOL. Walo, so many people said that =.= . I'm not pai kia lah. Some people say when I didn't smile, I look like I'm going to fight them all. =.= WTH. I'm not that type of person lah, not like the old Xy when I'm in sec1 OKAY. I changed myself into a better person after that incident took place. Maybe I'm born with fierce face/ expression. zZz. Yuan cheong told me that, that so call marcus wanted to find me, cuz i diao him, lol ? Its just a glance. Would I want to make trouble at the 1st place ? He's the one wanting to look trouble with me. Lame kids. Whatever, find me if you want. HAHAHA. I believe I can talk without using my fist. lolx. Oh yah, and today when I had F&N remedial in the computer lab, vanny asked me to help her plug in the keyboard, I helped her, I notice Kent, was look at me, LOL ? , I just plugged in because its unplugged. After that miss noreen ask who is the one who did that and of course its me, ROFL, she said she can chase me out of the lab as I had done that. What's wrong ? lols. I found out Kent complained to miss noreen, I find it very lame, because Kent can actually come and find me straight, face to face, but he didn't, is it because he's afraid of me ? -.- Damn, history test next week. Ah, always fail history test. zZz. Most of the time. I think I shall pass this time. However, not much confident, cuz I'm weak in history. Prelims are coming too. WTH. >.> Things are getting more and more to do and focus. Stress argh.

Thoughts.

2008-07-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

Today is a long day. =O Quite tired, yea. Had English Prelim Oral, strange, in the past my hands won't get cold and shiver but recently I had them. The reading passage was okay but the picture discussion is like... OMG, WTH ! I'm particularly weak at that. Conversation was alright, about transport.. Bla Bla. After finish oral, I took my bag from min yee jiejie and then after that talk to Keith as I walk to E1 class, to look for her of course, haha. Minutes after my oral, my hands are still cold ! Lol! Steph told me that I should hide my nails cuz its too long, it don't look presentable, yea, I will take note of it. Thanks Steph! Okay, found out that Steph did not do well for her composition =O ! Jia you Jia you, hope you can do better next time. Argh don't talk about it. Its Over. hahaha. Was walking with her and chatting. LOL. 'Selling cosmatics' topic. ;x . We chat and chat and it seems like we have lots to talk about,endless. haha. The bus came and she had to go, she and the rest rush for the bus, at the same time, I'm worried, because when she cross the road, the traffic light is still green. But, luckily they lookout for cars before crossing the road. Thats all, bid farewell and they went off. Went to bubbletea shop to buy strawberry milktea. Sat down the the bustop and talk a little with wen huan and soon went home. Hope I can have more time and opportunities to chat with her. We are leaving secondary school soon. Sigh....

I have always miss the times when I'm with you.

2008-07-18T07:51:00.000-07:00

Its the end of the week again. She didn't come yesterday and today... I hope she is really okay. What I can do is only pray. She will definitely get better. Feeling incomplete and empty without you around although I kept on fooling around in school. Something just don't feel right here. Hope she will get well soon ! God bless Her ! Today had chemistry, was getting more and more things to study and memorise, I will strive harder. I will do it, although its hard. Today after school I had another "O"level practical, I baked some muffins for her, as wishing her to get well. It is as if I'm putting my heart in it.
Yes yes I'm worried but I know she will get better.

Keeping myself away from the worried and sadness.

2008-07-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

End of this week. Just came back from studying at coffee bean. Saw Ms Lee Ting Ru ! She treated me a drink. Lolx. Thanks. Very bored, studying alone, wth, getting harder and harder to concentrate. Left coffee bean at about 3+ near 4. Was bored, played gunz with Ming Kwang. Oh well, still bored. I miss her, everytime, the moment I didn't see her. Hais. Hope I can really make it for the 'O'level. Stress. Hais. Harder to manage, Harder to breathe. Its the very 1st time I prayed for myself few days ago. Getting harder to control myself, emotions, soul. Thank God!

Always can't bear to see you leaving.

Nobody said letting go is facile,
holding on can just be as onerous.

2008-07-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

Should be youth day today i guess ? Didn't really do much things today. This morning while I was sleeping, at around 5+ I got a call from Melvin, my bro's friend. He said that my bro had drank too much and told me to come down to fetch my bro up. When they reached the drop off point, I saw Melvin helping my bro, I went straight up to help my bro to walk properly. I really thank Melvin, He's such a wonderful friend to my bro and had always been a protective friend towards my bro. This is the very first time that I saw my bro getting drunk, he don't get drunk easily. My bro can't even walk properly, he wanted to vomit but nothing seems to come out. Soon, we reached home and he just lie on the bed and then went to sleep. I feel sorry for him. He seems very sad about something and I found out it was that girl again. I care for my brother alot. That sight of him just let me feel sad too. I seriously hope my bro would set himself free one day, or someone would set him free. I don't wish anything to happen to my bro. The sight of him reminds me of someone, and that's me. Well, I had always wanted to hide that tears behind my smile, and wanted to stop emoing all the time. It became a habit to me already. I can't stop emoing. I always find it hard to sleep at night. All I think is just her, her and her. Sometimes I just feel that I'm at the brink of losing control of my mind and soul. I can't describe the feeling, its just too miserable and sometimes can't even breathe. I had always been keeping alot of problems to myself. All I do is tear in silent. I can only be happy when I'm with her I guess.

Seeing her smile makes me happy too.

2008-07-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

Didn't really talk to you today but at least I saw you. Today was a slack day as most of the periods are slacking ones. Lolx. Today had Oral, did have a little bit of nervous feeling. Didn't really do well for the passage but conversation waas quite well. I thought really fast the moment the examinator asked me a question. The moment I came out of the class room, I was 'HOLY FATHER' LOL !!! Cuz I anyhow read out any word that I have no idea of. Walk back to class, Pass by e1, I forgot I don't think they have any lessons today. I went back to my class room and then started to talk about the oral, everything. Then headed home. I'm gonna study POA later, having a/cs tml. I have to talk about this, my sis, seems still insensible, I don't know what she really thinking. Since from young, her attitude, was such that she's taking everything for granted, when I see other people's sister cared so much for their siblings, I'm envy. From young, my parents did brought her up, but I'm very sure that my parents didn't teach her those insensible things. She don't know where she stand. And then me and my bro from young we had each other and my sis didn't know how to take care of herself, everything she need to do, she's lazy let alone taking care of my brother and I. So thats why me and my brother were so close until now. I often quarrel with my sister because I can't stand the way that she thinks and act. My brother just sometimes quarrel with her as my bro was more tolerant then me in the past. I feel very sorry for my parents. I'm upset to have such a sister too. I don't really know what she is thinking. She just wanted more. She still thinks immaturely sometimes but not all the time. Now, I don't really wanna talk to her about her attitude but I don't think she will listen too. She's 18 this year but she still throw her tantrums sometimes. When she needed money, she will just asked from parents in a attitude that my parents owe her. Me and my brother, when you're young, we were so small size as long as I recall, we know that out parents work very hard to provide us with food, so me and my bro didn't really take any money from them and we saved money instead, to buy what we wanted. Those days, me and my bro really scrimp and save, my brother is much more professional in saving money LOL. He don't really eat much, hahas, and sometimes me and my bro shared a plate of rice to save money or we walked home instead of taking bus, those days were so funny. hahas, and when we had saved enough money to buy what we wanted, we were very very happy.

When will my sis stop and think ?

Mug?

2008-06-28T01:18:00.000-07:00

End of this week.

Time flies, its the end of the first week of school. Sigh... It means that time is getting lesser. Everyday I go to school, even though I see you and talk to you everyday, but it was never enough. I miss you almost everyday, but I chose to keep it to myself. Till this day, I should be feeling contented. Well, these few days, at least I tried to concentrate in class, I did it although still daydreaming sometimes. I hope she's not as upset as last time, the matter really upset her, sometimes when we're out of the class, I see a moody face from her sometimes. Steph, help those who are worth your help and I know you're always that helpful. =) You still have us. :) Boring... its friday today... er should i say saturday. lol.x
I will try to live my life to the fullest.... With you.

My life is incomplete without you.

2008-06-23T20:45:00.000-07:00

First day of school. Yea, finally !. Found it hard to wake up in the morning, was so tired man. Time to brush up and bathe and get ready for school. Woke my bro up and left the house at about 7+ . Yawn. Reached the school canteen, and first person i spotted was her... yea, was quite glad I could see her after such a long break. Sat down in the canteen, slack.... and then went to assembly. Well, didn't cut my hair though, I thought i'm going to be caught for long fridge but to my surprise, I didn't get caught. Lolx.. Okay, Miss Chee is just having her own concert and kept talking.. talking... and talking.... Finally, went back to class yea finally, got the new timetable and Miss Tan talked to us. After that, was POA, i tried to concentrate and I made it yea. I will try to concentrate from now on although its hard sometimes. Uh, today F&N , Miss Noreen didn't come to class today so some of us sit at the banch outside the classes to chit chat. Was boring and finally could go for recess. When I came back, haish, sit on my chair, just daydreaming....... yea... Today was bored but yet happy and glad to see you. Oh no, my maths test, argh.... I had only done one question. LMAO. Didn't know have maths test today, didn't prepare much. After school, talk with Farand about his church friends... and stuffs..... yea. so soon he left. Class suppose to end at 4.45PM today but my class remedial was cancelled. I waited for her until his class dismiss but found out that she had gone off earlier with yuan xin. Then, I just headed home... haish, tml still have lots of lessons, too bad, i have to strive on.

Ain't simple.

2008-06-07T03:17:00.000-07:00

Gosh... This is getting worst.

2008-06-04T02:05:00.000-07:00

Yawn. Feeling the tiredness yet i can't sleep. I gave up. ROFL. zZz. This sucks to the core man. Actually thank God for just now. That depression feeling came back for a moment just now and i felt so suffocated and just for that moment i cant take it... . suck yea i mean SUCK. Done some Biology today some ten year series question. uh need to buck up my subjects. i try ? lol..
... .... ... .... Hope everything is ALRIGHT. I called her yesterday night and...
Someone: " Hello ??? Who Are you ???"
Xy : "ER.... Looking for Stephanie, your sister (Assuming was Stanford)"
Someone:"Did you call the wrong number ?"
Xy: ". .... No ? 9xxxxxx1 "(i'm not posting the number here but it was right)
Someone:"My name is Aaron Wank,i think u call the wrong number, you got any problem ? i study in ACS(so specific Anglo Chinese) anything come find me" <-- so fierce omg not convincing though.
Xy : "ok"
Someone: "Kap"
Xy: .... Oh My God. Lolx. Was feeling so...... ew bad that time just wanna call you and ask you how're doing. T_T lolx. was suppose to go biology class today but i didn't, i sleep sleep sleep. >.> Dreams after Dreams. LOL.
It is 2.01AM now, my bro and I msning each other, lame ? nah. its a kind of communication. He's tired but he don't want to sleep. I'm tired and i want to sleep but i cant sleep. let see what i can do then. Lol.~~~~~~

Do you know why some words are left unspoken ?

2008-06-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

I thought could just shut my eyes and go to sleep. But it's not so simple as i thought. I can spend hours on the bed thinking of all sorts of things. Those thoughts just won't get off my mind. Everytime, everynight i fell on my bed. I need to tire myself out until i had no energy left, that's when its easier to sleep. what is this ? oh man. There are still so many days to go... ''O''Level exams are approaching... but i didn't have the mood to prepare but i have to try...
I miss you, i really do... Take care of yourself when i'm not around. Don't make me worry...
God bless you always...

Holiday kills.

My heart will always be with you.

2008-05-24T07:58:00.001-07:00

23th of May 2008

Having intensive mother tongue today, having the 'O'lvl paper on monday, so fast... and sooon we will be graduating and leave this school.... I don't really wish to leave this school... Memories hold me back..

After school, i went to look for Mr Koh to take the confirmation slip as i was afraid that i may have lost it.. after that. .. went down to the classes to look for her.. but she's no where in sight, maybe she went off when the bell rang... I went to the canteen to grab a bite and i slowly walk to the bustop where she will always be there, but i didn't see her... i went home after that. Playing computer games ! LOL. its boring.... yea.... and i finally went to night class at 6.30PM, yea and had the intensive... the teachers provide quite alot of information, i hope i can pass my chinese well. =l lolx. After chinese i went up to join with yuan xin and Steph, Steph father was fetching her and she asked yuan xin to join her but yuan xin decided to go home herself. As her friend, i sent her to the bustop, she's so moody... Steph is waiting for her father in the sch ool, at that point of time i wish i could split myself into half so as to accompany Steph too ><'' lol ok then after that Steph said that her father is not fetching anymore and said that she went with wen huan they all. After yuan xin boarded the bus, i wanted to rush to where Steph is while i rush on the road, to my surprise i saw Steph! sheila was in front of her but sheila went up the bus which yuan xin take. Steph didn't board the bus. She said she was thirsty so me and her went to 7Eleven to buy some drink 'should i buy small or big' <--- She's such a small size and she wanted to choose either big or small, LOL ;x Shorty, Fatty, Stephie ;x hahas... Then we went to the bustop to wait for the bus, and we chatted... yea... till the bus reached.. when i wanted to board the bus, i thought i lost my wallet ! i was so forgetful as i didn't bring it with me so Steph lended me money for the busfare hahas!!! Thanks Steph !!!!!! =] so we sat on the bus talking to each other yea... then we reached Serangoon Circus, was supposed to walk home with her i guess, but we saw samantha, so Steph and her went up the same bus, at least there's someone to accompany her. But she need to walk home after when she got off the bus... i was quite worried as its dark and there will be many BIAN TAI around LOL ok but i thank God that everything is fine till she reached home hahs.ok then i talked to her on the phone while i climb the stairs, lolx !! Steph, i'm fit ok !! although u can do more than 10 times LOL. ok soon her tutor came and we need to stop the conversation hahas. but its ok =] I went to bathe after that and play Gunz. Lol till quite late, 1+ ? lol. Oh man, i have been coughing badly @.@ its saturday tml whish is today sianz, i cant see her. >.> Anyway, Steph, don so sensitive lahs, i know u care for your frends more than urself, but don let the situation keep bothering you, hahas, as time goes by, u will get an answer.

Both of us shared this,

Busfare ;x Thank you.Steph !! =D

I miss you.

2008-05-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

2008-05-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

16th May 2008 School ended at 12:10pm

Went to eat and go back school again to find my recipes as it was rejected again and again. lolx. i went back to class and rest and wait for Miss Noreen to reply my msg as she had other things to do... I went to the toilet alot of times... its so boring... and when i walked pass 4e1 class. i glanced though the window.... and i saw her.... afterthat... went back to class again and Miss Noreen finally called me and told us to find more recipes according to the question... and find the recipes from the sources provided by her. Me and Farand manage to find them in just minutes sand finally could go off as soon as possible... we went up to the canteen and buy some drinks... I feel like looking for her... so i went back to the classes but i missed a step... she went off earlier when i reach her class. I guess she should be at the bustop and i decided to look for her..... fortunately i found her at the bustop.... at 1st i went t o the bubble tea shop to by strawberry milktea as i'm thirsty LOL. ok i crossed the road to find them... Steph was accompanying yuan xin as yuan xin don wanna be alone t here. yuan xin arh.. u must be grateful that steph is always there when you need her.... Steph needed to go look for her mum to have lunch with her but she still accompanied yuan xin... yuan xin ! u must Cherish steph ok !!! =] We went up to the bus after that.... and finally yuan xin and others got off the bus... left me and her.... I talked to her.... looking into her eyes... she seems to have some sad thoughts in her mind..... Steph, whenever you need someone... i will be there.. i'm here by your side. =] smile always !!! After that i got off as she wanted to find her mum.... so, i went home after that... I went riding after that with elson and japheth... we went to an end point of singpore... the scenery is so nice.. so soothing.... i want to go there again....

Tracing... thinking... feeling....
No one can replace you...

2008-04-09T00:54:00.000-07:00

O.o''

9th of April 2008 12:36AM.
I can't really sleep almost everynight. I will always be tired the next day... Having history tomorrow... aw... there are more and more things to learn on history.... more tests coming up and yet i'm always daydreaming in class. Mid- year exam approaching.... few more weeks to go... I can't concentrate on my studies... I had become like this... emo had become a part of my world already although i keep trying to be as optimistic as i can. My emotions are unstable... i have an intution that i may go crazy anytime... and do things that were unexpected... i don't have any idea when... hopefully not...
Thankfully, sometimes, my best friend, Vanessa, at least her crazyness can make me smile sometimes. I don't really get it, why she can always hang her smile on her face and i can't... it's really tiring... well, she said that, why not live your life to the fullest ??? . I can't... i don't know why... maybe i'm like this... still, i have to thank her for always staying by my side whenever i'm down or moodswings. Really envy those who can always smileeeeeeeeeeeeee.... all day long !
That's all... and... now is 12.53AM, Vanny online -.- do fnn work, so hardworking urh ? good good =]

Maybe its time to leave me alone...

2008-02-25T16:30:00.000-08:00

Today is 26th of February.
Sent her to bustop today.
I realise,
we seemed to drift apart?
She didn't do well in her test but at least she tried.
You can always try harder next time. Good Luck.
Those fond memories are always kept in my heart. <3

Friendships, families.... her....
Getting to know a friend need a day , but having to know a true friend need years or even a lifetime.
This blog is dead. I don't think anyone will come here.
Have been encountering friendships problem in primary school and now, secondary school.
Sometimes just feel, its better to be alone.

''O''lvls
My brother, for some certain reason, he was distracted and didn't take it to heart.
Till now, the reason for him not to study was still unknown.

Maybe.. just distracted...

I don't have the heart to prepare for it though....
Always have been daydreaming in class....

All these years passed.
No one will ever feel my pain right here.
Maybe I just don't belong here...
Take only memories away, leave nothing behind.... but....

only footprints....

2007-11-19T01:37:00.000-08:00

hmmm... 1+... I can't sleep everynight, yes everynight, turning around here and there and things kept flowing through my mind for 1hr or more. Decided to play game till morning, just trying to tire myself out. Gaming is bored too.... hais........ My bro went to so call 'chalet' or shud say camping at east coast ? i think. And my sis, went out with her boyfriend and drink. Till now haven come home. Grandma just live with us last few days ago, now sleeping... parents sleeping, and me using comp. Just think... think and think..... from the day i met her till now... its seems quite long ago... but time passes so fast. Sian, everyday at home nothing to do. Don't know what time i should sleep, maybe till i'm tired.... I can't eat too, i don't have the appetite, ytd night didn't eat dinner and went to sleep. Next year, o level , so fast... hais.... my story end here???? No one will ever understand me.

All the words that I've said isn't a lie.

2007-10-25T21:22:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of school, well, hate it. Got back my report book. 1 fail only and that's maths. aiyah nvm lol. Today after school saw steph they all. Was going to ask her, how's her result but i tink she's quite sad and unhappy about it so i didn't ask. Hey steph, if u ever read this post, i wan to tell you that, don worry , u can always work harder next time, espicially for olevel, most importantly have confident in urself. =].
Went to I.T meeting, nothing much oso , after that go 107 coffee shop slack. lolx. okay than go back school again. A while more went home. Wei Keat come my house to slack a while and after that japheth and elson come too and went down to play bike , omg lar i canot bunny hop again, last time still can. LOL . at least noe some rollback and backhook. lol. Saw my bro and they join us, my bro did the backhook, so nice and high. lols. aiyah my bro too much things to think and he didn't even study for his olevel. I may become like him next year... even worse. hais....
Stayed at the void deck, played and idle around. Then went home after that and bathe. then now use comp. LOL. Feeling sad, hopeless and thought about alot of things. Thanks for those who cared for me. And Yuan Xin, don't feel sad lahs, you have a very caring frend and thats steph , you can always find her or me if you need us. We will be there. Well, till here, holidays sux since sec one. Always think back the past which won't be the same anymore. Hais. Emoing is not good for health. Hais. Living is a blessing, living with nothing is a suffering, that's what my brother says. I agreed. I really just hope everyone around me would be happy and not always so sad. =(
Don't be like me... led to nowhere...

Hope one day you would turn back and look at me....

2007-10-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

Well, decided to blog. First thing, i'm being promoted to sec4 express !!. Thanks min yee jie for always helping me in the studies and promote to sec4 express, thank you =D . holidays are coming, dammit, it really sucks, from sec 1 until now still sucks, it has always been. I don't like leh, walao. Haix. Left a few more days before school close =( . I want to spend more time with her, hais x( . Sian, why the time is passing so fast ???? I can't imagine when we leave our secoundary school to poly or jc . Hais. Why so fast leh ?????? Dammit larh. really. Hate holidays , hate the time passing so fast. To those who didn't score well in the mid year, Don't worry you can always study harder next time ! =] Good luck to you. Be confident !. okays in my class 3e4, there will be 8ppl dropping to normal acadamic, quite a few.
Memories from sec1 keep flashing through my mind, i don't know why. kept thinking about the past. Sec4 sure hectic one, Olevel will be coming. WA sian. So many things in my mind.... how can i concentrate on Olevel. My brother, told me , he had too much things to think and now dosen't have any heart to study. Hais . Well, better now he tried to study a little. I don't wish to become like him, but i can't help it. =l Now after exams, don't know wanna do what, and my brother olevel is still proccessing. Hmmms. It may be holiday but whenever you wanna find me, i will always be there. =]

I really hope i could spend all my time with you.

2007-09-04T00:19:00.000-07:00

These few days, thought of alot of things usually from the past... the happy ones and sad ones. Well, i feel so useless sometimes.... hais. Holidays sucked. I can't concentrate on studies... i just can't... i felt so sad, depressed... hais. I will still try to study anyway... Hope i can cope with it. I miss her... i really miss her alot.... feel like crying.... or dying.....

2day, bought icecreams from vann, and had tution.... and then after tution just headed home... nth much... so bored... at home.... tomorrow is wednesday... so ... 5 days to go... Sianx. I promise, i will try to study...

You can't reach her.

2007-08-29T20:01:00.000-07:00

Today ah,We celebrated Ms Tan Cheng Hiang de very early b'dae LOL, was quite fun hahah, and took some pics,Ms Tan touched wor !! And then After school we go Old folks home, screwed up, we 3e4 dono do wad sia, we all laughing here and there, then old folks de face gong gong de -.- aiyahs at least we tried to entertain the old folks although quite paiseh lahs, luckily daniel and yuan cheong is there to perform some wushu, yeap quite well. Vanessa and grps tried to sing and entertain. Some of them also tried to talk to them and took some pictures. And then when they gtg go already, i helped them to the lift, yea and then got one time the lift close sia and then was trying to hurt the ah ma, i push the door away sia !! so funny, lol, all say i act hero la -.- lol. say got sensor dono wad lol, but then hor got sensor then why still kiap the ah ma leh ?? LOL. ok lah, after that we went back to school. was so noisy in the bus, then me leh, emo liaoz. Reached school, took my bag from Ms Tan table and then she said that she wanna talk to yuan cheong, elson and me about kailin de things and then found out that yuan cheong has nth to do with it so yuan cheong go 1st then after that Ms Tan just continued to talk those stuffs and try to motivate us to study and all those. After that, was quite late and then we went down and saw kevin and yuan cheong there, then i told kevin that i want go E1 to see any1 there anot lor then kevin said Steph,sheila, keith and others gone 10mins to 20mins ler.lolx. After that they all went home and i walked all the way to serangoon circus to see she there mah, cuz i thought she will be alone there cuz keith sheila they all not alight there de, i walked there to try my luck lor cuz holiday coming le mah.... canot see her can die de leh... so i just try my luck to see if she there anot. At first i thought she is not there then i just walk walk walk and then i turned around and saw her coming down of the bus and followed behind was stesson. haha. Quite happy lahs, at least can see her. And she was talking on the phone with yuan xin !! lol !! i gay meh -.- i'm pure emo leh, stesson ah gua la =P lolx. didn't talk much though, after that they went up the bus and then said goodbye to them. Then i walked home after that, and now using comp now, mum didn't cook today lols, and then keep asking me wad ms tan say to me, haiyo....... tired lahs , very fan one lols..... please ah...... holiday pass fast fast can? =[

At least saw her....

2007-08-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

Today morning i forgot how i woke up, and when i start using the comp, i've been forgeting things... lols. Done some bio assesment ( 10year series ) understood some, Quite okay. and then just use comp lor, nothing to do...... played gunz and maple, sian bored. I will try to study/revise more. Maybe at nite practice maths bah. i'm alone at home today, so........ sian.. .... . i realised that i may bother you too much, sorry if i do. >.< CME project haven done yet, will be doing tml ba, i tink. Hinduism, what about that ??. Sian... tonight sure canot sleep one.... Sian !! Saturday.... tml still got one day....

Emo Me

2007-08-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Today quite boring, so i just type out some things that happened today, druing p.e i took out my phone and listen to song LOL and confiscated by Ms Tan, our p.e teacher and then she returned me soon after the p.e ended. lols. Okay during last period of CME , Ms Tan told us the exchanging programme where by ernest would go to E1 and Enos come to our class. Enos told us some of his studying style and for ernest he teached the E1 how to destress -.- . . . LOL. quite moody today... and then i stayed back a while. then saw steph, xin , shen yang and wen huan... Stephanie Dao wo !!! T.T LOL.i'm so scared of you ;XX really. okay then after they gone le then we stayed a while after that kevin go for his ncc nafa thn me , elson went to the councillor room and slack thn 6+ go home liaoz. Nothing much today. Very sian, becuz its friday. Hais.

Miss you...

2007-08-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

Today 1st period was maths, yea , had maths test, some i noe how to do nia, i tink will pass bah... After maths was Bio, as usual mdm ratnam nv come so relief teacher come relief us. quite boring, read some history notes as my grp is going to present during history lesson. After Bio was English, yea, 1stly shud go computer lab de, but thn change plan , go back to class.... reached class le , quite sianx and then i ask karthig the brochure do le mah he say yes, cuz he yesterday show me the brochure he done but that was not his one, LOL , then i trow a away my brochure. LOLs. Then when grping that time, he ask me where the brochure i say i trow alr -.- . i tot he say he done le, lolz. okay lar nvm, thn we start to plan the brochure thing and then the powerpoint presentation. Then, we will have to do some slides, and for me, i done le so i just edit some of them to make it nicer, yea. After English thn recess alr. Me, Ben and kev go to e1 and slack loh. Yea. And then she's studying chemistry,she looks so serious when studying...scary =X I think i will start to study le cuz i wan to push up my studies and get better result. After recess, had chinese thn copied some things into the book. Bored too. After chinese was history, kailin de grp present 1st, 1st thought in my mind (Got kailin sure canot one, get low low marks) LOL !!!. They were just reading the sentences from the slides !!! lmao. they get very low marks eventually. HAHAHA =P. thn its time for our grp to present liao. Members : peiting, min yee, jap, bert, me. We take turns to persent, was quite ok. And the ming kwang ask stupid questions =.= LOL. okay after history was F&N, went to computer lab and then type some things and update to my coursework. I went into my blog and went to other web sites to play some games, hahahaha, ms siti looked at me, i continued =X . Ok lah, quite interesting, after school me and farand went to eat in the canteen then vanny call me tell me go chem lab cuz we have to do the experiment ma. So we eat le thn go le loh. Done some experiments, yea. After the lesson me, bert and farand go upstairs our class slack le loh, nth much la. haha. Then when its late we went home............................................... Sian loh, tml friday leh.... lol >.< Weekend.........~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're the one who make me wanna change myself....

2007-08-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

Today was quite boring, had bio today morning but mdm ratnam nv come and then no cher in class, quite tired, so i slept a little. yawns. After bio, was history, mr arman come in, keep scolding us hais... menopause, depression de lahs. then say what go to helll.... lols. Then our project nid to present tml, so sian urh ??? we nid to act out or wad la.. haix.Ohya and he says that our test done so badly, surely i'm on of them, i dont know why, some things i can rmbr so clearly and specific but some of them, cant rmb anything. After history was chem, yea... still boring... and then slp loh... thn miss yang come wake me up and teach me some then i try to do some of them lor... shud be correct bah ???? lols. Recess time , i didn't go to eat lahs, i went to 3e1 as usual then chit chat lahs. Today was such a tired day, i dont know why.. alot ppl slping... lolx. okay yah had english after recess, Wa Sian get back result sian la, i wun elaborate more. Steph, cheer up =) you can always work harder next time de, jia you for your studies :)))) after english was maths.... BORED !!! well, understood some of them which mr koh taught. After maths was assembly.. our class so mischievous, trow the bottle up to the fan, LOL !!!! thn in the end in the roof top inside the thingy lar. LOL. Had assembly , those pics were so disgusting... >.< . lolz . After assembly we went to canteen and slack loh, thn i saw steph outside the general office there then me and kevin go look for her, ahaha , kevin keep di siao her... haha. Sian luh, after that berton and elson come too. lolz. chat a while steph oso nid to go loh thn say byebye le lor. Then me and elson slack...........................................................lor. slack with yuan xin at a classroom then we went to the library cuz ery hot lahs.Then we talk talk talk, alot of things la. when yuan xin nid to go to her piano class me and elson accompanied her to the bustop as she want us to accompany ma then bus come le she went off liao lohs. Me and elson went back to school and look for berton, yea then Elson and kevin beat each other, so painful T-T . lols. thn late liao me, elson and bert go liaoz , kevin didnt go with us becuz he nid to do ncc thingy. I reached home liao, so sian... hais......... then bathe thn now use comp loh, sian ah, tml thursday liao then after tml friday....then weekend liaoz.............. haix.............................was quite moody now, i don't really noe why... maybe too tired bah...

Staying by yourside is enough for me....

2007-08-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

2day went to school with ernest at 6+ becuz i go to school early de ma thn he stay at my hse ytd cuz kena chase out by father lols. okay thn we had our national day celebration, and i saw those UGs marching , its so cool, haha. Then Steph be the emcee , she spoke so confidently although without much preparation , good job =D . the karthig ah , keep di siao me -.- u sucker zz. ok luh, after the celebration , berton they all go play pool all those thn i sian sian de, no mood de leh =l after that i went to coffee shop and then saw steph they all thn i jz sit down there chat loh. she's just so tired >.< If you need my shoulder, i can always lend it to you... hmmm... thn eat le hor the prata inside got the hair one =.= so unhygenic ! lols . After eating thn we walked our way to the bustop and then chit chat. then again , she's so tired T.T have a good rest okay, steph =) Thn bus reach le i say goodbye to they all. My heart was like " Oh man , i gonna miss you..." lols Then i go home liao bathe thn i go play pool liao loh. i was kinda late and then i meet bert they all at the entrance, and i saw them, 10 ppl walking towards me LOL !!!. okay then add me tgt 11 ppl cool eh ??? thn we go watch movie !!! simpsons, kinda.... lame zzzzzz bt quite funny la. lolsss. we sit 1 row , so long sia. okay after that , after the movie, we go funland to play pool , but heng full house cuz there got police LOL, checking i tink , then we go to grassroots dono wad club. We play some pool there. We met vanessa they all and some sgs ppl. Cool man. 3/5 of our class was like there. Cool . After a while vanessa they all go liaoz cuz they go support ederlyn de netball match dono what 24hr de match LOL ? okay then some of the boys went to eat and gone home, we stayed there and play a little while and we went off, some were still staying there and play. Me, kevin, ernest and karthig went to eat. After eating , me and ernest nid to go home as our parents dont allow us to go to the 24hr thingy at suntec lols. then kevin and karthig go take mrt to reach there. So me and ernest went home after that. Its so bored I came back , thn bathe and start using comp. Haix so sian, tml no school, tml tml , oso no school , tml tml tml oso no school , tml tml tml tml oso no school. Hais.................................................

I wish can always stay by urside when you need me...

2007-07-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

Today woke up late, very tired lahs.... thn wash up, went to school, go canteen sit a while then go parade square liao... and assembly.. after that 1st period was P.O.A, ahhh... test lols. i done the account and then never tally one, and i realised something, whenever i do any test or exams, will NEVER tally one ! LOL !. okay, second period was P.E, quite boring, basketball again... lols, i lost all my skills.... hehe. lolsssss. After that was english, yeaps and went back to class, very sian oso, do the comprehension lols.... i kept turning back to look at her... ahhh.... the time for us to talk and be together was like......... urgh..... so little haisssssSSSSSSsssssssss............................... After english then recess liaoz, was tinking to find her at e1 but then the sundram come kao bei e1 ppl TA MA DE, thn the e1s all zao dono go where study ah ? dono leh.... lols. hais....go die la sundram T-T lols... after recess was maths, sian urh, Mr Ong going off le He had the last lesson with us today, Thx Mr Ong !!! For all the help u had given us !!! ... then had the maths lesson yea.. after maths lesson last period, Ms Tan nv come cuz gone for course, thn Mr Lee took us LOL !!!!! oh yea and shandong ppl gtg ler... so we take pic, pics and pics but ah, my phone don have their pics but only our classmates pictures nia LOL !!! Vanny lor take my phone anyhw take =.= lols.... here are some pics....

You see this 2 jokers LOL

& This

HAHA, yaya piggy back me and firdaus, firdaus appear to be standing but he's up on me ! yaya so strong eh ? and sexy =X

After school, start to sian, go the 7 eleven there de coffee shop and eat with farand,berton and elson, elson didn't eat. lols. after eating we went back to school and then slack, bert nid to go for ncc, farand nid to go back and take his uniform for npcc lols, so me and elson followed. After taking liao went back to school and then left me and elson to slack, so we 2 slack in class. lols... After that we 2 went to councilor room LOL, to find min yee jie, and then i shock her !! LOL, HAHA, she open the door thn chua tio -.- lols.... okay, thn started to slack there, talk here talk there lols... oso nth to do la.. thn when its time to go home, me and elson go take our bag cuz we left it in class lols. then we go take le come down saw vanny !! LOL, ok thn talk a while then left liao after that min yee, peiting, me and elson walk home loh.. helped jiejie carry thingy thn elson nth to do so help peiting carry thingy -.- zzz lame. aiya sian... hais after that we jiu go home liao. Reached home, nothing to do bathe, eat, thn play gunz ! lols... thn now blogging, i'm such a free person and a boring person -.- no life man !!! lols. Oh ya yuan cheong, you better keep your promise or else i kill you. LOL. Argh, nth to do...

Hope time would be slower...
I can't keep on living this way...
Each day, day by day...

2007-07-21T04:06:00.000-07:00

Friday : 20/7/07
At school having p.e and thn had basketball and done the lay up 3/5, dribble the ball around ourself and i done 45 in 1min. Cool huh ? xD
After the period ended, i went to the canteen and bought green tea and drink loh, go back class le had english lesson, yeap. After english lesson, went for recess and thn me and frends went to the quiz stall there and answered some question haahaa, and i got chocolates.. and thn quite sian larh. After that stay there a while le go hall le loh and thn see the performance, its so boring ~.~ after that went back to class, and then rehearse<-- (issit spell like tis ? O.o'')for the skit for the old folks home thingy and then so funny, tis time i am guai kia xD or shud i say everytime i'm guai kia ? =XX okay thn they beat chinkai and vicnesh dam funny la =.= like real one sia zzz so hard thn ms tan scold us lols... after that period ended i helped berton to take yahaya bag downstairs to the ncc room and then went back up to class again and then saw kevin in class dono do wad leh ? thn we go e1 loh thn saw yong yang there, lols. after that then i stay in e1 le loh... ... ... ... ... ... ... yea, then yuan xin had her concert !! haha !! xD me,wen huan,steph,xin,andrew,yong yang all were there haha, andrew and yong yang siao one -.- too stress le bah ??? LOL SCARY T.T hmm and then dono wad time le thn we all jiu go home le loh nth much after that.. hmmmm, there's a upper sec guy who always wana find tai ji wif me one T.T LOL, no matter wad, i don wan any tai ji ah, if got thn i tell Mr Tan Tiow Leng our DM !!! jiu mei shi le loh !! =D Not all things can settle by violence =) okay thn hmm reach home le oso nth to do leh? then sleep loh until 8 woke up and then use come and gunz a while, thn got msg come, thn after that call her loh. yeaps. Big gal, i hope you're okay =))) Don't think too much la =))) You're always that caring.... After that, i gunz with kevin alot of rounds haha !! until 2+ like that then slp...i gonna have compitition the next morning...

No matter what,
I will always be with you when you need me.=]

Today :21/7/07
2day morning woke up at 6+ and thn i bathe and thn go down to school le, when i reach school i found out that the bridge is in the computer lab !! and we don't have the key ! we have to wait for the person to come and open the general office and thn take the computer lab key in the general office then can open the computer lab door ! finally, at 7.50 she came and help us open the door and then niagp siang chiong all the way down to open the lab and take the bridge, after that we chiong taxi down to ngee ann poly and thn we had our bridge test and all those, its quite boring there, so sian de, after that we had refreshments haha, me and niagp siang go chiong the food and take alot !! for our frends, and thn keep taking, i was taking alot of fishball when a girl look at the tray of fishball, OMG !! her face was like... wth ? xDD lols.... after that we have our prize presentation and thn some old man talking on the stage about engineering LOL, cant understand a word.. lols.. or i wasnt even listening lols.... We didn't win... so sianx after that we chiong down to singapore poly to support yuan xin,keith shiela de aeroplane compitition, our school send 7 teams to the compition ! it was quite alot and thn got refreshments oso, so i take lor =P i was eating the whole day =.= lols. thn after all those competing, had prize presentations, we 7 grps, didn't win again =.= lol~ very suay la actually lols... after that we went back to school le loh, the bus come and fetch us. lolx. then yuan xin want me lend her my phone thn lend her loh then we sit tgt in the bus loh, she was singing the song lols... and me leh very sian and tired so just fa dai lor. reach school le settle down le thn i go the rock climbing there jump here jump there with shiela keith they all LOL, and i hurt my leg T.T pain urh -.- the sound 'BANG' so loud zzz pain arh... my pus still coming out now =.= then after a while go home liao loh, oso nothing to do, dono wad i wanna do next >.< I VERY FREE ONE OKAYS =D

Call me when you need me,
I will be there =)

2007-07-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

Okay... Lets talk about friday.... had POA test and i got my net profit $620 Funny eh ? and bert $200+ LOL so little how to do business =.= and in the end didn't tally LOL... nbm.... after that,after school had chemistry retest haha... and japheth copied ALL the question from bert test paper haha.. cuz we can't ake early as we don't have valid reason YAWNS..... so we waited till 2.30 then take lor.. bo bian lols.... i noe how to do but alot wrong why is that so ? becuz (SO4) outside no value no nid put bracket i go put.. so wrong.... LOL.....anyway,thx min yee jie and wen huan for teaching me chem.. now i understand le Thx u 2 XD Min yee jie can be teacher liao haha.... okay after chem test i walk out of the classroom... and spotted gary wen huan samuel steph they all... and went up to talk to them.... T.T the picture i saw is just an illusion right ? O.O xD... hahahas.... and then talked to her........... Hope i have more chance to talk to her..... lols....Plz.....
after that kieth and sheila come out le a while more we wana walk out of the school to eat liaoz....and we talk talk talk... lols.....at the coffee shop i steph watched some videos from my phone xDD hahhas so funny..... and then after that we walked back to school yea.... and then me, stesson and her went in to the councilor room and look at some photos about the france trip... some pics are so nice... lols....hmmm and stesson so emo >_> lols..... after a while steph nid to go home ler.... so.. i follow lor... ;);)
and then bid farewell to keith sheila and yuan xin and then me and her went outside the head of department de chair and sit.... and we talked.... and then she show me the picture again -.- is an illusion right ? hahaa lols.... no la its a reality... ;) Best friend i understand haha... =)
after that her father came to pick her up and thn me and her walk out and thn i say byebye to her liao and after that went home liao.... and Sian liao -_- lols came back home eat,watch tv,play comp and sleep nothing else....and at night.... i started to think..................

The feeling staying by urside...
I never felt nothing in the world like this before...
Now i'm missing you....
I will Wait for you....

2007-07-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

Well, 2day very sian oso. Everything sux la lols. 2day went for checkup and quite fun la can escape lessons lols...2day maths quite ok too at least i noe how to do, lols. The Earth is dying man -.- the weather, it sucks. lols. life sux, everything sux. i'm just so tired.... i dono if i can go on anymore lols. Day by Day, its so meaningless -.- Yawns. Dam sian lahs............
Same school same class in english, but yet no chance to talk.... or i have a problem with myself... i'm not sure... i'm always that emo..... lols........ sometimes.... its just so bored that it kills... I'm tired.... i wan to rest.... but i don have much time left....
7 month le... going to 1 year liao and then next year sec4 liao ... so fast............i don't like....
btw, out class alot csm liao.. sweee lols.... if vann be csm thn the best liao
our class de csm alot, wo0o0o0o. lols csm = ? i keep forgetting lols

Tired Emotion.

2007-06-05T22:39:00.000-07:00

ok la today dam sian go for oral lols..... all say wan zha bo =.= thn we waited for mr ho la thn he's sick lols he come in the front door we zao back door lols bt in the end come back...ok thn had oral...die la sure die i keep stopping lols....after that go mac wif elson eat w/e thn go back nth to do lols.....thn send him off at the bustop i went home after that and thn bathe thn go take a nap till bert come my hse and thn after a while liexuan come too sell us icecream and we bought some after that we go to some terrece hses there to sell but none of them wana buy WTH....
Everything don matter to me now i just wished tt i could just knock down by car or sth anything tt will cause me death... i just don wish to live anymore.... why is all the same all the time ???? Why ???? dammit man i hate my life i hate everything ... JUST KILL ME ok ? WTH......i wish i could just die !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything just don go my way always.... Fck my life Fck my everything.... My life sux all the time! Nth always goes right.... i just hate it. GOD,LET ME DIE,LET ME PERISH ! My life just sux.... oyea.... Vann i miss your kee siaoing !!!!! =( and hope i can see you kee siao again soon..... lols =))))
Minyee jiejie.... come back soon ok... i miss you......

Why i'm always the one left behind ?

2007-06-01T22:57:00.000-07:00

ok today woke up at 7.00 to help my bro train his maple character hahas... ok train till 10 like tt lar thn he come back ler...thn hao le loh thn i play gunz lols....trying to make a video for our clan Devoted... hahas... hope those i named will participate,sam9728 sam 1st one haha, then yoh0222 <-----berton, 18September <---- Xy , YouYaYu <----kevin, Xmage08 <---elson,thn others i see if they wan anot lor... those exmates lols..... and Cockytomato <------ japheth !!! lolz i miss japheth man lols i tink he tml come back ler hoorays~~~~~~ lols....ok la oso dam sian bt at least got sth to do... lols....ok then just now....i was like dam sad.... y love is so painful leh ????? and then my bad frend tell me don tink too much ler....thx urh my bad frend always comforting me when i'm sad <3 hahas...hais tml dono wan to do wad leh...i tink edit Vann photos bah =,= bo bian nth to do lols....Vann !! Stay happy always ok ?? take care horss =DDD God bless you haha....Drink more water =X hope ur throat get well soon =)
ohyea...just now smsed min yee jiejie.... she said she will be coming back in 7 days T-T still so long i miss her ler.....lolz take care jie =) hope can see you soon =) hais sian loh...mum wan me go chinese tution lols... i failed my chinese..learn chinese is hard =.= so many strokes thn dono wad word is that lols but i hope i can improve in all my subs...and promoted to sec4 express next year..but for now i'm just tired...i nida long rest lols....sianxxx going off soon...... hais~
miss all my frends !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do love hurts ?
Love is such a pain , it has always been.Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime.

2007-05-30T21:32:00.001-07:00

wa dam sian nth to do de lehs.... holidays sux ah... everyday stay in home play games and msn nia.... i prefer school days lolx....Shandongers when come back eh ???? i wonder hw's japheth doing... lols....min yee jie oso fly ler..... vann de best frends jinyu,jia juan and ivy oso fly ler... we wan die ler... always stay in home do same kind of things T-T hais.... lolz.....oyea... my mum wanted me to go for a tution sian...if not can work wif samuel they all ler...btw thx sam.. =) haha. hais now editing some pictures lols....and chatting wif daniel on msn... he said he is in the buddy's father's company using comp LOLZ.....i hope sku holidays passes fast thn can go back to sku !!
lolz anyway during this holiday i tink i will be making a gunz video and i hope my frends will participate and make tis video a success one lols..... its jz a game videos la somemore nth to do ma....wa sianx manx....ooo yea 16th vann going australlia !!! Yi Road Shun Wind ok ??? xDDD
hahaha oyea...drink more water =.= hope i come back sku wun see u coughing liao lols........hais....sianx ah....hais..........now sis going out clubbing LOL don wan let mum noe -.- lolz..... hais thn bro dono do wad leh slping ? i guess lols...mum doing some paper work and papa haven come back =/ my results are bad... i can't even go to a poly lols... i tot of quiting sku.. everything was so fcked up...hmmm...ok nth to talk ler... bye :)

Gone....
Happiness that is lost couldnt be taken back again.

2007-05-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

2007-05-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

Hais very sian so decided to blog.... hmmms holidays sux.... so boring everyday play games nia lolx. ok on 25/ 5 / 07 Mrs Phua come in tell us do alot of things wa sian exam over liao still wan do walao thn we all very sian lar don care lah thn slp haha

ok so mrs phua saw me take the pic xD so ? xP i continue to slp after she call my name xP
ok i tink tts the last day of sku ? yea shud be hahax

yea thn after sku le go play pool wif kuan yew, john and berton haha. few days ago oso got go i took kuawn yew's pic

Yao xiu kia xD

ok back to thursday, it was kinda boring, i had FNN class thn go back to class had chemistry i forgot do wad le lols. ok thn 11+ i gotta leave sku for the shatec thingy haha learn so many things, tiramisu , dono wad chicken and wad cold soup, ya all of them quite nice. argh and i choke the coco powder on my tiramisu zzzzzz =.= ok thn i got a countainer and ta pao my chicken haha and vannessa right sth on it

haha thx vann !! =P
cya soon when sku reopens my bad bad frend !! ^^

hmm ok very sian le i tink i stop here
BYE

2007-05-19T23:03:00.000-07:00

finally exams were over, passed 5 failed 2 -.- lolxxxx.... bt overall pass la.wa dam sian exams over dono wan to do wad ler.....thn june holidays coming........can die one leh..........argh..HATE HOLIDAYS....Its so boring, whenever i stay at home...its just games,games and games @_@maybe finding some job ba,if anyone got lobang intro me thx. :)

All these while, maybe i was dreaming.....all was just my wishful thinking....i don really noe.......Many ppl told me to me to let go.....bt i can't......its just there.....life is so complicated sometimes i feel like dying...i'm sick of everything, tired of everything, sick of my life,tired of my life and just wana end it...

it just so complicated. ppl can just stead and break stead and break....what for ? if there's no feeling thn don stead in the 1st place....i don understand what are they thinking.....

Btw,my bro's O lvl mother tounge exam coming, Wish him gd luck yea =)

Shattered*

Gone

2007-03-07T17:48:00.000-08:00

WA so tired,jz came bac from camp.1st day : I really don feel like going,cuz i don have the mood to go....even if i go i still can't set my mind...i'm in a bad mood tt day...jz keep worrying abt her...she hurt her back badly...poor thing...i wished it was me...ok starting of the day,we went to the camp and it was dam hot...thn after tt we settle down and instructors introduce themselves and split us into groups and do some briefing.after tt we carry out activities.Those are boring ok...and it was dam hot,when its lunch time we have to cook our own maggie mee and we have to wait for others to cook finish as we nid the tin to cook after we have eaten,we carry out our activities agn (Boring~) and thn till night we ate dinner,stupid lor eat dinner oso wan keep quiet lame man LOL.thn after tt we go on a night hike,its nice man.1stly we hold our hands and stand 1 line and walk from the roads to the jungle,it was dark,i could hardly see anything but the feeling is nice,exciting,there're alot of trees arnd us and sounds of the nature (insects and animals).we walk for a very long time and we reach an area,it was wide and beautiful,there's a mountain and trees all arnd too bad i can't see any stars LOL.thn bert told me tt he heard the sound of wolf lols,some of them heard too,i didn't heard any -.- lols.ok on the way back,a instructor told me and bert ghost stories,its quite interesting..and we went back to the camp,we have to cheer dono wad lahs,its boring lor...we waited for a very long time and thn we get to settle down and the instructors let us go shower i tink so thn when shower time it was packed and i have to bathe wif yc xDDD ROFL so funny haha XDXD ok when u're out,we feel refreshing and we go eat our supper and thn we got brief agn i tink thn go to slp....haix...at night canot slp... lols but finally i went to slp.and thn in the morning we woke up and ate breakfast...thn set off to bukit timah hike.it was dam tiring.but at least we reach the top and we're the 1st class and the 1st group to reach.I was tired and i went back to slp(Sitting) lols and thn i fell asslp i told john to wake me up when we nid to go in the end he nv wake me up thn kevin shout 'STEPHANIE' thn i wake up liao lolx (Shocked) thn when i stand up,i collapse zzzz cuz i sitting too long,my legs were numb and elson help me up too so after tt we went back to the camp site...the road was long nad hard to travel,there're slopes,rocks and muds all arnd...when we reach,we go for lunch and thn to do some high elements activities....yea i did some...thn i tired liao don wan do lols,thn do some rock climbing thn it started to rain,we went back to the room and rest a while and have our dinner later after dinner we go to the camp fire...it was exciting and we keep shouting and shouting haha and did kallang wave haha...and ms chyee and mr singh come and attend the camp fire lols.ok thn after tt we got brief ah i tink thn go eat supper thn other grps go bathe 1st after tt we went back to our room and rest there until its time to settle at the place we were suppose to when swaping to bathe..thn after tt we went back to our room as the bathrooms were packed..we rest there and after a long time we went to bathe,still its quite fulll haix.lols bt at least no nid share wif yc le LOL.ANTI-GAY LOL
ok after bathe we nid to go and have last briefing b4 we go to bed.At night we were playing and we try to keep the lights off and use our torches i can't really slp and they play tai di LOL i played yc phone lols and anyway thx yc for sharing his slping bag with me lols ok.after tt until very late thn we slp lahs..next morning we were suppose to assemble at the place tt we were suppose to assemble at 7 am but we woke up at 6.50 LOL and go down and brush out teach at 6.59 zzzzzzzz LOL and we're late after tt we do some stretches and want to have breakfast.hais everytime ah the food so little thn the rose syrup is put water one thn milo sometimes LOL sweet somtimes bland LOL LOL.sianx lahs.after we had our breakfast we go and clean the toilets and thn to prize presentation after tt went back to sku le...sian nv win but nvm i don gave a dam lolz ok thn went back to school and so delighted to saw her lolxxxx i stay for a while and i went to put my bag and come down agn and to back to school cuz i tot she dismissed at 2.10 LOL thn after i know tt she left school le zz thn went back to home thn play games lor....sianxx till now lols.ok i stop here byebye lol Steph wish u a full recovery =) take care

2007-02-24T04:05:00.000-08:00

Wa,tis few days hor sibei sian lahs........no wushu -.- zzzzzz LOL haix.........very tired la these days...YAWNS.....at home play games......play,play,play lolsss.Hope i won't drop to normal next year...=/ hais not feeling well too............hais..........nothing to write leh =/

I'm waiting...
bye......

2007-01-18T21:30:00.000-08:00

These few days i've been staying at school till very late cuz i having robotics competition...At the day of the compitition,we're anxious to noe the results but before tt,when the bridge was taking the weight,we pass 1st round,thn to the second round got one lao bu si lao kokkok dono hw to put the weight on the position where it is to be,the other groups put horizontal only our group put slanted,and its kind of retarted,we dam dam dam du lan,we argue and say the weight is supposed to be at the middle not slanted,wa cb,the lao bu si still studdorn there idiot sia,my brother keep feedback them they still stubborn there...thn spoil our group bridge wa piang eh,si beh tu lan...thn end the end the management come and settle and finally put at the middle....SO WE passed and won 2 bronze 1 Gold for the other team...hais so tired after so much practising but happy to had won bronze...hais dam sian lahs....So long nv see her liao =/ worried...

Maybe someday....
Gone~

2007-01-03T18:10:00.000-08:00

Ok 1st day of school,kena caught by form teacher,Ms Tan,saying my fringe longer thn hers...thn send to DM,lolsssss...bo liao..thn wan send me back home,heng my mother working no time..lols....so nw i'm in sec3,so fast all wear long pants ler...so funny -.-
and thn early in the morning when i saw...i felt a strange kind of feeling...its like...so happy...
schooling is so sian lah....nid to get used to school life again..YAWNS*
Feel so tired in class...thn after school got robotics meeting and my competition coming le...so nid to stay at school until school close,haissssssssss

Gone~

2006-12-01T22:06:00.000-08:00

2day plan to go to bert's condo there swim cuz very sian ma...thn very suay lor today...lolz...at 1st we go NTUC buy alot sushi...dam alot, thn walk to his condo...thn walk half way he say he forget bring keys..LOL ? thn we walk bac to his aunt house to take the keys thn half way going bac he say he found it -.- in his bag ... LOL..thn we go up lor..eat thn watch tv...wa song.
thn we wait to digest 1st b4 going to swim...thn when we're going out of the house we rush out...thn the door closed -.-the door canot open liao,lol...thn bert say his keys INSIDE !!! OMFG...=.= suay la...thn the aircon inside nv off =.= wa piang...lol....thn aiya heckcare thn go swim liao...i jump into the pool and i keep shiver ,Bert keep laughing lol...always win me in speed LOL...i slow la =.=.thn swim liao go his aunt house thn after tt sam come oso....thn wa song go arcade liao...
play ALOT...thn grab some sweet and biscuits haha...we stay there very long...we wan go eat liao...thn when we go out,we saw 2 guys approaching us....Sam clever siam 1st...thn the guy talk crap to me and bert =.= thn say wad to help some of the poor who don have job thn dono wad la...thn ask if we spare $5 will we mind ? LOL thn we giv lor =.= thn catch up with sam...sam say we tio scammed ! thn i tink bac , ya hor...lolz suay la thn go eat,eat liao go carrfour buy dono wad...lol forget liaoz..thn take mrt go home...reach home liao thn play comp agn..lols nth to do...=/

Sian Ar...hope holidays gone soon
byebye +)

2006-11-29T19:59:00.000-08:00

Hais...these few days was like wtf la...at nite canot slp....hais....at home nth to do very sian one lehz....=/ thn today go dye my hair...LOL.....dye like nv dye,i tml dye agn...=.= Sian ar...everyday at home play games...like no life....bert leh always co co me leh stare comp lolz .... sian today post like kinda lame,no mood to talk bout the rest...when u're sad i'm sad too...

I hope u're once happy agn... May God guide you...
Gone~

2006-11-21T19:37:00.000-08:00

hais..so sian.today bro go chalet liao sis oso go chalet WOAH peace man ! hahax lolz...left me at home lolz and finally i get my pay LoLz.hais these few days canot slp leh..dono y...i tink of alot of things...the past....si bei sian la...aw man..i miss her..alot...dam alot =(....and i dream of her almost everynite...dono today can slp ma..=/....nth to write leh...lolz

Sarang hae yo....means i love you
GONE*

2006-11-14T21:17:00.002-08:00

Glad tt she's fine...God bless her

Thx guys for making her life intresting....thx

2006-11-09T14:26:00.000-08:00

wo0o0 so sian,so decided to blog...LOLZ -.- ok 2day morning wake up at 9+ thn make breakfast for my brother,thn go change clothes thn go to work liao,wa sian i nid to put alot of post cards in the mail box,thn when i reach AMk thn i start working,o man so hot =.= and going to dehydrate lolz...as i was putting the post cards in the mail box,a 50+ old man come talk to me in hokkien ? i dono thn bla bla bla thn i say ya ya ya thn i dono wad he talking abt -.- ok thn continue at other blk thn when i finish i quikly rush home and bathe and pour soya bean milk and drink woooo cool XD oh man i muz cut down of drinking MILK beCuz i'm trying to stop growing taller hahas XD for her :)) thn sit infront of comp wa very sian,go play gunz,maple and then have thought of quiting this job cuz very tiring lols and thn the pay so little lolz...

bb,stopping here :))

2006-11-08T18:20:00.000-08:00

Hi all of you,This is the 1st time i blogged. And thx min yee and steph for helping me =D min yee so PRO man hahas.Thx, if not i dono wad to do liao hahas,and steph helped me think of my username hahas XD nice thx too !~ ok i will stop here lolz,cya peepos